LaLaLa. I can't hear you defile the Lord.
Kelly has landed on my last nerve.
Being a customer service rep, she has a lot of down time in between calls from grumpy clients.
When she’s not slinking around the office being a gossip monger, she’s usually reading magazines at her desk. And using the good Lord’s name in vain.
“Oh my God. OH my GOD. ohmygodohmygodohmygod.”
All day that’s all I here from her over there. Every time she hits a new headline or a fact that blows her little mind, she comments out loud using different variations of “Oh my God.” The emphasis will change depending on the intensity of the story.
When she makes God into two syllables (GAW-DUH), you know she’s really hit upon some shocking news. Like Brad and Angelina broke up — and then were abducted by aliens who blew them into space with a slingshot.
At first people would turn and stare at her during her unholy exclamations. But she wouldn’t say anything unless someone asked her what she was reading. I never cared, but other people would condone her careless heathen outbursts and ask for details.
Soon though people learned to just ignore her.
But she couldn’t have that.
“Oh MY God!” Kelly exclaimed.
No one looked up. Everyone kept typing.
“OH my GOD!” she said again.
A phone rang and Oscar answered it.
“Isn’t anyone going to ask me what I’m reading?!” Kelly demanded.
Everyone looked up and stared unsure what to do. Karen jumped in and rescued us from the awkward moment by asking Kelly to tell her about it. Kelly was totally pleased having any audience in front of her … even a reluctant one.
I quietly asked God to smite her.
