Pam

Archive for October, 2008|Monthly archive page

Insult to injury, pt. 4

In Entertainment, Humor, Television, The Office, Work on October 30, 2008 at 2:53 am
You don't want to go to lunch with Jim and me? Wow, add that to your list of biggest regrets EVER.

You don't want to go to lunch with Jim and me? Wow. Add that to your list of biggest regrets EVER!

This is the last of the Andy insult stories…for now. 🙂

When Andy first started working at our office, I invited him to lunch with Jim and I a couple times trying to make him feel welcome. He turned me down due to scheduling conflicts, which was fine. He promised he’d catch-up with us sometime in the future.

Then several weeks later he comes over to the area where Jim and I sit.

“Hey Jim, you wanna grab lunch today?” he asked.

“Uh sure. Where do you want to go?”

“How about Dunderito Burrito?” Andy suggested.

Jim said that sounded great and to meet at his desk at noon.

I felt a little slighted. After all, it was I who had invited Andy to lunch when Jim and I went. And I love Dunderito Burrito! That’s fine if the guy doesn’t like me … just don’t yammer on and on about your life whenever I even give you a tiny acknowledgment.

I didn’t feel too bad about the slight though. After all, this was after Andy had made fun of my husband’s profession, so I really didn’t feel like setting myself up for more of his self-righteous blathering.

Andy reappeared right at noon and asked Jim if he was ready.

“Yup,” Jim said. “Hey Pam, do you want to come to lunch with us?”

At least Jim has manners. But at this point I’d already busted into my own brown paper bag lunch. I’d also had the bitter taste in my mouth all morning of the memory of my previous conversations with Andy.

“Uh no not today,” I said. “Thanks, though!”

“Oh come on,” Andy said in a surprisingly huffy voice. “You know you want to.”

“Nah that’s OK,” I said.

“You’ll be sorry when all you had is a lame bagged lunch and we come back talking about our awesome burritos and how YOU didn’t get one,” Andy continued.

“Yup I bet I will.”

“All right. Your loss,” he said with a ridiculous smirk.

Whatever, man. You didn’t even invite me to lunch with you. And then you make fun of me for not accepting an invitation that you didn’t even extend to me? Just don’t be surprised when I give you the cold shoulder when you want to whine about your life as I’m trying to make it to the bathroom.

Insult to injury pt. 3

In Entertainment, Humor, Television, The Office, Work on October 29, 2008 at 2:41 am
No offense, but your husband should probably either find something meaningful to do with his life or throw himself off a bridge. No offense.

No offense, but your husband should probably either find something meaningful to do with his life or throw himself off a bridge. No offense.

A few months ago, Andy wandered over to my half of the office to chat with Jim and me.

He brought up his weekend plans to try a new restaurant in town.

“I read a good review of that place,” Jim said casually.

“Well I never listen to what food crtics say. I think restaurant reviews are worthless,” Andy said.

“Woah, woah, time out,” I chimed in. “My husband writes food reviews so let’s hold up before you go any further.”

“Well I don’t mean to offend anyone,” Andy said, “but really what a pointless job! I can go eat the food for myself. I don’t need someone else to tell me whether it’s good or not. And most of the time they don’t have any idea what they’re talking about anyway.”

Don’t mean to offend anyone my @$$! I don’t care if that’s how you feel — that’s fine. But after I have made it known that this is a personal attack on my husband, wouldn’t you have the common sense to keep the opinion to yourself until I had cleared the area?

He kept talking for quite a while, but I had my headphones on at this point with music blaring for fear I would flat out kill him if I heard anymore.

I guess not all of our jobs can be as meaningful as being a middle man for the paper industry.

Do you work at The Office?

In Entertainment, Humor, Television, The Office, Work on October 28, 2008 at 1:58 am

I found another Angela! (Or rather another Angela found me).

Check it out here.

And send her your sympathies!

Anyone else have some stories to share with the class this week?

Also … I need Halloween costume ideas for our party at Dunder Mifflin on Friday. GO!

Insult to Injury pt. 2

In Entertainment, Humor, Television, The Office, Work on October 25, 2008 at 4:52 am
Gosh people without money are SUCH losers.

Gosh people without money are SUCH losers.

“Hey Pam, how you doing?”

“Pretty good, and you?” I said to Andy without making eye contact just trying to reach my destination of the bathroom.

“Eh not bad,” he said as I’d almost reached the door, “except I have these cousins coming into town this weekend that I just can’t stand.”

Dammit. Do I look like someone who came over here to listen to your problems?

“Oh?” I say positioned next to the bathroom so I could leap in at the first break in the conversation.

Andy starts complaining in depth about these cousins. The black sheep of the family apparently. The one married a girl no one approved of. They had money problems for a while and had to live with his mother-in-law, who sounded a little crazy and controlled all their money. They’d buy cigarettes and lotto tickets instead of food, etc etc.

I nodded along. I had family members like this, too. Probably wouldn’t air all of their dirty laundry at my place of work to a stranger, but that’s just me. Apparently Andy felt these trespasses were atrocious and unique enough that the world should know.

And then, he totally lost me.

“I mean, these people don’t even pay off their credit cards every month,” he said, now that he was in an unstoppable rant. I hadn’t said a word for at least two minutes now. “I mean, they’ll usually only pay the MINIMUM each month.”

They only pay the minimum? My God! These people don’t deserve the air they breathe!

Thanks to some tough times at the Beesly household (and the rest of the world the last time I checked) we too only pay the minimum on our credit cards each month and have had to function that way for quite a while. It seems on planet Andy, that puts you on a level of people unworthy of associating with him.

I cut him off.

“Well I think a lot of people fall into that trap with credit cards or they hit a rough patch and just can’t do any more. Hope your weekend isn’t too bad!” I said shrugging as I pushed myself into the door with the word “Women” printed on it. I don’t think Andy would follow me in here…

How did “Hey Pam, how you doing?” turn into this???!

Next up … Andy insults my husband’s line of work. (No offense, but….)

Addendum: After comparing notes with Karen, we’ve come to the conclusion that I might have misunderstood Andy this time and, considering his own credit history which Karen knows a bit about, that he may have meant that his cousins don’t even pay the minimum balance on their cards. Still, it’s a dumb thing to say when you know nothing about the financial problems of the person with whom you’re speaking.

Insult to injury

In Entertainment, Humor, Television, The Office, Work on October 23, 2008 at 3:23 pm
You can't put a price tag on pictures like this.

You can't put a price tag on pictures like this.

So I’m sitting at my desk pondering whether I should go to the bathroom or not. Andy has been particularly chatty lately and he likes to latch on to me on my way to the bathroom.

But every time I have a conversation with Andy, he insults me. Usually it’s unintentionally — if you can call not taking into account how others might feel “unintentional.”

First it was my wedding. He was talking about the budget for his wedding with Angela and how expensive the photographer was going to be. I told him about my own wedding and how we used a student from the University of Scranton’s photography program. The guy had an amazing portfolio, worked for cheap, let us have rights to the images so we could make as many copies as we wanted and gave us lovely pictures.

“I wouldn’t trust something as important as my wedding photos to an amateur,” Andy scoffed.

Yes, clearly I thought my wedding photos were worthless and hired the first bum I could find to handle them.

I left him alone to his whining over wedding costs.

Since that conversation, Andy booked a pricey photographer. But he also has started purchasing some photography equipment and has been peddling his wedding photography services to other friends who are getting married.

Apparently his friends should trust an amateur…as long as that amateur is him.

Next up … Andy makes fun of people with financial problems. Like the Beeslys.

Pam’s good deed for the day

In Entertainment, Humor, Television, The Office, Work on October 22, 2008 at 2:50 am
Your most reliable source for Election 2008.

Your most reliable source for Election 2008.

As I mentioned earlier, Michael likes to spout off about his political views. Only one person will really fight him on them: Todd Packer.

Todd and Michael don’t work together often. Usually Todd just stops by the office when he’s in town, causes a lot of problems and talks obnoxiously loud.

Today was no different. Though they are friends, Todd and Michael have drastically different political views. Usually their banter is jovial, but today Todd came in with guns blazing ready to pummel Michael with his latest political ammunition, trying to stump him. As if stumping MICHAEL would somehow be a victory for his entire political party.

As Todd started throwing partisan punches, using half-truths and manipulated facts mixed with a little reality, Michael started getting really defensive. But he couldn’t keep Todd at bay long enough to take control of the conversation. And the more Michael tried to contradict Todd, the louder Todd got.

I thought about walking over and shutting Michael’s door to spare the rest of us from this ridiculous display. But I knew that that would only draw Todd’s attention to myself. Plus, even though Michael invites this kind of trouble on himself, it seemed too mean to leave him hanging.

So I called Michael on the phone instead.

Todd huffed.

“Oh sure! Saved by the phone!” he bellowed. “I gotta go anyway.” He stormed off and I turned so he wouldn’t see the phone to my ear.

Michael saw my name on the caller ID as he answered.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” he said once Todd was clear. Then he yelled out into the main office, “Will someone give this girl a raise!”

Jim teased me about being a brown-noser. Eh. I got Todd out of the office. Sometimes self-preservation can help others, too. Plus, it’s exhausting being angry at Michael ALL the time.

No one interrupts the great Dwight Schrute

In Entertainment, Humor, Television, The Office, Work on October 16, 2008 at 3:09 am

Interrupt me again, and there will be consequences to pay. I am a deputy sheriff, you know.

Dwight HATES it when people interrupt him.

What others view as little verbal cues to indicate interest and understanding, Dwight interprets as personal affronts.

A snippet from a conversation last week:

“So how are we going to contact clients we don’t have yet?” I asked.

“That’s why we’re calling the hotel where this entrepreneurs conference is taking place…”

“Oh right,” I said.

” … to make contacts there.” Dwight finishes.

He smiles at me condescendingly. “You interrupted me!”

“No I didn’t. I said ‘Oh, right.'”

“Yes, that is what is known as an interruption. You cut me off.”

“No, I was affirming your statement.”

“Interrupting.”

He keeps staring at me.

“I’m sorry?” I say.

“Noted.”

… On a side note. I LOVE how much Scranton is coming up in this election! Thanks Joe Biden! …

We don’t leave until our work is done

In Entertainment, Humor, Television, The Office, Work on October 13, 2008 at 2:23 pm

Due to a few crises last week, Kelly worked several extra hours. So Friday, she left at noon to get back some of that time. We had a big project due by the end of the day, but because she is our customer service rep, she wasn’t involved.

After she left, I noticed an e-mail from her.

It was sent to me, Michael and Dwight asking one of use to “pretty please with sprinkles on top” post some of her weekly data to the company Web site.

Michael came out in a tizzy, but Kelly had already left.

“What is this?” he sputtered. “She can’t just leave us hanging like this when we have a deadline? This is outrageous. Dwight, send her an e-mail saying I don’t approve of her doing this at all. At this company we don’t leave until our work is done. Period.”

Since when? I seemed to have noticed Michael had spent most of the morning having a rather colorful political conversation with one of his buddies on the phone. And left early last week despite this impending deadline.

Do as I say, not as I do, I guess.

Office politics

In Entertainment, Humor, Television, The Office, Work on October 8, 2008 at 2:54 pm
Michael wishes he were witty enough to be part of this crew.

Michael wishes he were witty enough to be part of this crew.

Despite all rules of ettiquette, Michael loves talking politics in the office. Baiting co-workers he knows disagree with him, mouthing off about candidates, passing out bumper stickers for whomever he is backing.

The funny thing is, I will be voting for the same candidate as he will for president come November.

But I keep that to myself.

Because while Michael and I agree on the candidate, the reasons why differ greatly. While one person tries to talk issues, he’ll make fun of the opponent’s name or what they wear. A talk about voting records can quickly shift to him spreading misinformation he got from some 14-year-old’s blog.

And as November approaches, it gets worse and worse. His number one activity to distract him from work these days is hashing over the latest poltical news with anyone who shows even an inkling of willingness.

Kelly put a “no politics” sign up at her desk. I considered following suit. But Michael seems to stay clear of me when he’s on a political kick. Maybe he views me as an unworthy presidential conversationalist. Fine by me.

But I figure if I put a sign on my desk, I might as well paint a giant target on my forehead. I doubt he would honor the sign any more than he would honor my pleas to not talk reality TV with him. Why fix something that isn’t broken? Yet.

But being so close to his office, I get a front row seat to the spectacle. And cringe with embarrassment that I support the same candidate as this guy.

What about you? How is your office handling the upcoming presidentital election?

Hole in the head

In Entertainment, Humor, Television, The Office, Work on October 7, 2008 at 4:16 pm

How many holes DO I have in my head? One, two, three...

And now for another installment of Michael and Jan on the phone:

Michael says something stupid which apparently leads Jan to ask him if he has a hole in his head.

Michael: I have five holes in my head and I need them all.

Ears, nose and mouth.

I don’t count the eyes.

Yeah but my eyes aren’t ripped out.

No I like my eyes the way they are, thank you.

This interaction might be funnier … if it were anyone else having it.

Tomorrow, in honor of tonight’s debate, we’ll have a special blog about politics in the office. Come equipped with stories about political junkies making the workplace uncomfortable.