Pam

Archive for April, 2009|Monthly archive page

And the Oscar goes to…

In Entertainment, Humor, Television, The Office, Work on April 30, 2009 at 7:55 am

You were in Slumdog Millionaire? DON'T tell that guy over there.

You were in Slumdog Millionaire? DON'T tell that guy over there.

You know someone is desperate to make conversation with you when they share with you the opinions of people you don’t know. Or tell you stories about things they haven’t done.

This was my life during Oscar season.

As I’ve mentioned before, Michael loves trying to start movie discussion with me. It never ends well because we just don’t have similar enough tastes.

Yet he insisted on asking me what of the Oscar movies I had seen and what I thought of them. 

At that time, I had only seen one of the main contenders: Slumdog Millionaire. Which I told him I really liked.

“Huh I’ll have to go check that out,” he said rattling off all the things he had to do that would prevent him from seeing it this weekend, and mulling over which theaters would actually be screening the film.

So after that weekend passed, he came over to give me a report.

“Well I didn’t get to see Slumdog Millionaire this weekend,” Michael announced.

“Um. OK.”

“But Jan’s sister did with her husband and they really liked it.”

Blank stare.

“Of course they didn’t like Mama Mia, which I loved, so I don’t know how much I trust their opinion.”

I shrugged. I had absolutely no idea what to say to this. Why on earth would I care one little teeny tiny bit about what JAN’S SISTER and JAN’S SISTER’S HUSBAND though about a movie I’ve already told him I liked.

Well maybe I’ll get to see it this weekend, he said relapsing into his list of all the things he may or may not have planned.

Is this what Michael considers a conversation?

So another weekend passes. And come Monday he reports to me again that he hasn’t seen it. 

And Friday he tells me they plan to see it that weekend. And THEN repeats the story about how Jan’s sister saw it and liked it (but he doesn’t know if he can trust her).

Wow you’re really going to milk that ONE conversation we had a month ago until it’s dead aren’t you, Michael.

So the next week comes and he hasn’t seen it again! Honestly Michael, I couldn’t care less whether you see this stupid movie or not. Did I say I liked it? Oh I meant I hated it with a burning passion. There will you leave me alone now?

But they did see one of the other Oscar movies, he tells me. And proceeds to tell me all about it, without prompting of course.

Finally, FINALLY, he sees Slumdog Millionaire. 

And the verdict?

“We enjoyed it,” he said.

That was it. No discussion about it. No questions about what I thought about certain scenes. No expounding on what he liked about it. I think he liked talking about NOT seeing it more than seeing it.

You’re a special guy, Michael Scott.

Tune out

In Entertainment, Humor, Television, The Office, Work on April 29, 2009 at 8:06 am

alg_fischer_walk_hard

Today, class, let’s talk about music. Specifically music you listen to while you work. I’m looking for ideas to bulk up my own playlists. 

I have a playlist for concentrating, a motivational playlist for when I don’t feel like working. And a “Oh my gosh I am going to strangle my bosses” playlist.

This last one consists mostly of whiny white boys and features such classics as “Shut up” by Blink 182, “Shut up” by Simple Plan and “You’re not the boss of me now” by They Might be Giants.

So I’m curious to know what music you dear Dunderheads crank on your headphones or in the car when your boss (or whomever) has pushed you to the breaking point.

Rainbows and puppies

In Entertainment, Humor, Television, The Office, Work on April 24, 2009 at 8:00 am

meredith

Michael was complaining to Meredith about an e-mail we received from corporate about someone (Michael) misusing the new program we have on our computers.

“Oh I just ignore those e-mails,” Meredith said.

You could practically see the light bulb glow above Michael’s head as what she said sunk in. “You do?!”

“Sure, all the time,” she said. What she didn’t say was that she has the ability to discern which e-mails are important and which are nit-picky unreasonable expectations. Michael … not so much.

Michael was walking on air as he came over to my desk to share his new revelation.

“As soon as I heard that,” Michael said, “I told myself ‘That’s it. From now on I’m ignoring all stressful e-mails.'”

“Michael if you ignore my e-mails, I’m going to come into your office and pummel you,” I said.

“Well you know, you ‘ll just have to dress it up with stuff about flowers or something,” he said.

“I’ll make all my subject lines ‘Rainbows and puppies’ from now on,” I said.

“I can put pictures of my dog in my e-mails,” Jim chimed in.

“Yeah! ”Rainbows and puppies and oh yeah I’m pissed at you.’ I like it!” Michael said, smiling all the way to his office.

The sad part. I really don’t think he’s joking.

 

 

P.S. LOVED Parks and Recreation and The Office last night. Thought both were the best so far this season! (Though, am I losing it, or did Parks and Rec already use the grafitti segment in one of the other episodes? whoopsies) Still laughed really hard through both episodes.

Chirp! (part 2)

In Entertainment, Humor, Television, The Office, Work on April 23, 2009 at 8:00 am
The annoyatron

Michael (not so) stealthily places an annoyatron under Stanley's desk.

All week Michael and Andy were plotting how they were going to stick the annoyatron (thanks Chris!) to Stanley’s desk.

“What do you think he’ll do?” Michael asked excitedly.

“He’s going to be so mad,” Andy said.

They plotted what Andy would say if Stanley asked him what the noise was (he was going to pretend he couldn’t hear it), and imagined the triumph they would feel upon “getting” Stanley.

Meanwhile, back in reality, Karen had already told Stanley what had happened to her and that Michael was planning to do the same to him.

So when the random chirping began on April Fool’s Day, Stanley said nothing.

And neither did Michael or Andy — which of course was sign number one of their guilt. If they weren’t the source of an annoying noise, they would have been the first ones poking around investigating it.

When I returned from lunch, Andy and Michael were still gone on break … and so was the noise.

“So where is it?” I asked Stanley while searching around his desk area.

“Where is what,” he said dryly.

“The beeping thing,” I said.

“What beeping thing?” There was a tiny grin on his face.

“You found it!” I said.

“I really don’t know what you’re talking about. But whatever it is, it’s gone now.”

Grinning I returned to my desk.

stanley Hudson

The next day Michael came up to Stanley’s desk.

“So where is it?”

“Where is what,” Stanley said.

“The beeper,” Michael said.

“Oh that was yours?” Stanley asked innocently.

“Yeah I left a note on it.”

“Oh well I stepped on it,” Stanley said.

“Why’d you do that?”

“To get it to stop beeping.”

“But I wanted to use it on someone else!”

“Well you should have thought of that before you put it over here.”

Michael had a nervous smile on his face as he went back to his office.

Meanwhile Stanley stuck the annoyatron to a sheet of paper that said RIP and hung it at his desk. Michael returned about an hour later.

“No really what did you do with it,” he asked, convincing himself Stanley was playing a practical joke on him.

“It’s right there,” Stanley said pointing to the sign.

“Rest in Peace, hahaha,” Michael said as he took the toy back to his office.

He played with the gadget for a while, a sickly beeping coming from his office every now and then.

Michael returned to Stanley’s desk.

“What did you do to this thing!”

“I told you, I stomped on it. With my boot.”

“I didn’t think you were serious! This cost me $10! I was going to use it on someone else!”

“I TOLD you. You shouldn’t put something on my desk if you want ot get it back.”

This interaction continued throughout the day, culminating in Michael refusing to turn in some of Stanley’s paperwork to corporate.

“Nope, don’t have time. Already sent everyone else’s. You’ll have to do it yourself,” he said in a hurried panicky voice. I haven’t seen such a retaliatory spectacle since little Margret broke Timmy’s crayons in second grade.

Stanley shrugged. “Fine I’ll send it myself.”

Good ol’ Stanley. Always playing it cool and never giving Michael an ounce of satisfaction.

Road trip!

In Entertainment, Humor, Television, The Office, Work on April 21, 2009 at 8:08 am

Went on a road trip this weekend and got a few pictures I think you all might enjoy about one of our favorite characters.

 

Welcome to Dwight, Illinois!

Welcome to Dwight, Illinois!

Yes, we stopped in charming Dwight, Ill., where we ate at a 50s diner. Nice.

And take a closer look at this sign:

Dwight Danish brotherhood

Dwight Woman's Club

Dwight Girl Scouts

And that water tower!

Dwight water tower

And of course, no road trip would be complete without a few souvenirs!

Beet coaster

Beet juice

How to handle a bad boss

In Entertainment, Humor, Television, The Office, Work on April 17, 2009 at 8:50 am

jenna-fischer-pam-beesly-the-office

Won’t be able to finish the story of the annoyatron today. Hectic week and now I’m prepping for a road trip today.

So I shall leave you with this article from Business Week, for those of you who have your own Michael Scotts:

How to Handle a Bad Boss.

Feel free to leave your own tips and comments on last night’s The Office and Parks and Recreation!

Have a great weekend! I should be back Tuesday.

Chirp!

In Entertainment, Humor, Television, The Office, Work on April 14, 2009 at 7:26 am

Karen Filipelli from The Office

“Do you hear that beeping sound?” Karen asked as she came over to the area where Jim and I sit.

We shook our heads.

“It almost sounds like a cricket or something, but it’s too cold for crickets, isn’t it?” She asked, clearly unnerved by whatever was causing the noise.

“Not sure, ” I said. “Sometimes my computer makes funny beeping noises. Maybe it’s your computer or someone who sits nearby.”

“Maaaaybe,” Karen said unconvinced and looking around for the source of the noise.

“Or maybe the batteries are dying in something, like the smoke detector,” I suggested.

“Yeah those DO make a chirping noise, don’t they,” she said and went on the hunt again.

At the end of the work day, Andy approached her desk.

“So you had some weird beeping over here today, huh?” he said.

“Yeeeeah,” Karen said suspiciously.

“It was this,” he said revealing a little metal box.

“You were causing the beeping noise?”

“Yeah when you stick this thing to metal, the magnetism activates this random little beep every once in a while. SO I stuck it to your desk and took it down during lunch time. I guess I’m lucky I caught you on a good day, huh?”

“Yeah,” Karen said with a little edge. “Really lucky.”

Andy also revealed that Michael planned to get one of the devices to use on Stanley on April Fool’s Day. As if Stanley hadn’t been witness to everything that happened to Karen and would be fooled by the same prank.

Yeah, that didn’t turn out so well for Michael.

(To be continued)

Insert nervous laughter

In Entertainment, Humor, Television, The Office, Work on April 10, 2009 at 7:40 am

creed_thoughts_header

So I was talking to Creed about social media sites like MySpace and Facebook. Creed is baffled by what the purpose of such sites are and how to begin even setting one up.

Michael stepped in as we moved on to talk about blogs.

“There you go Pam, you should have a blog on Dunder Mifflin Infinity. You could write about paper,” he said.

“Heh. I could probably do that.” 

“Actually Pam already has a blog,” Michael said to Creed. “Probably one complaining about this place.”

Actually I didn’t pause. That’s just what it felt like in my brain. What I said was:

“Actually it’s Creed’s blog. But he doesn’t know how to use it so he has to print out what he wants it to say and I have to re-type it in for him.”

That got a big chuckle from Michael. “I bet he has to handwrite it,” Michael chimed in giving fake nudges to Creed, who honestly didn’t mind being picked on in this conversation.

And Michael trotted off.

And I let out a huge sigh of relief.

P.S. Yay for having TWO Office episodes last night! How great was that! Liked Parks And Rec. Will be interested to see how it evolves and really makes the format its own.

No seriously, NBC is stalking me…

In Entertainment, Humor, Television, The Office, Work on April 8, 2009 at 7:49 am

So did anyone see the “Girlfriend Voice” skit on SNL this week?

I can’t get NBC.com video to embed on WordPress, but check out the video here,  when the YouTube clip above inevitably gets pulled.

Bill Hader’s call with his girlfriend sounds sooooo much like Michael Scott and Jan it’s creepy. “I protect you from the DRAgons!” hahahah!

I agree with Seth Rogan “Wow that was not fun to hear!”

Well the SNL skit was fun to hear, but it’s less fun in reality. So now NBC is enlisting other TV shows to mimic my life. Great.

Penny pinching

In Entertainment, Humor, Television, The Office, Work on April 7, 2009 at 7:25 am

How much does it cost to run that camera you have there?

How much does it cost to run that camera you have there?

After our company announced we were all going to have to watch our office budgets and propose cost-saving strategies, Angela sent out this e-mail:

 You’ve heard the saying that every penny counts…and it does!  Here’s a few things that the Scranton office is doing.

 1.  Bring in your own mug AND your own STIRRING IMPLEMENT.  We’re going to eliminate the purchase of the plastic cups and the stir sticks. Annual savings: $140!

2.  TURN OFF THE LIGHTS when not in use! 

3.  We’ve eliminated the afternoon mail pick-up service. Annual savings: $1,500. 

4.  THINK BEFORE YOU COPY OR PRINT.  If it’s not necessary to print or copy, don’t waste the paper!  USE THE FLIP SIDE OF USED PAPER.  RECYCLE.  Annual savings by cutting white paper costs by 25%: $953.

5.  SUPPLIES:  “Uncommon items” wanted should be carefully considered before ordering.  (You may be asked to reconsider your item for a lesser cost one.)  Potential savings:  $500-$600.

6.  COFFEE & TEA:  Drink what you pour. And don’t make a fresh pot at 3:30 in the PM unless you’re going to drink it all. 

Angela

 “Annual savings $140? What is this proving?” Jim asked.

“Heck just get rid of the coffee all together,” Creed chimed in. “Who needs it?”

“I’m surprised she didn’t suggest getting rid of the air conditioning,” Karen said, quickly looking over her shoulder to make sure Angela hadn’t heard that idea.

 And a few hours later, we got an e-mail from corporate saying the company would be undergoing layoffs this week and that those of us left standing would be getting 9 percent pay cuts.

 “Now wait a second,” I said peeking over my desk after we got the e-mail, making sure Angela wasn’t around. “WE don’t have to take the pay cut do we? I mean, didn’t corporate hear we’re using our own spoons to stir our coffee now?”