Pam

Posts Tagged ‘Angela Martin’

It’s the same thing…

In Entertainment, Humor, Television, The Office, Work on October 9, 2009 at 3:40 pm
If only Meredith had gottena flue shot ... or washed her hands properly.

If only Meredith had gottena flue shot ... or washed her hands properly.

Every year, a nurse comes to our office to dole out flu shots to everyone who wants them.

But Angela said that isn’t in the budget this year. It’s still covered by our insurance, but if we want one, we have to get one somewhere else. Of course waits this year are crazy with people more scared about the flu than ever. Ugh.

However, Dunder Mifflin did not totally abandon us. They came up with a backup plan.

In lieu of flu shots, the company issued signs for each branch to print and post in the bathroom that outline how to properly wash our hands.

Ohhh Dunder Mifflin, you think of everything!

P.S. CONGRATS PAM AND JIM!!!! I mean… umm congrats to me? Oh man I’m having an identity crisis.

P.P.S. Angela just snuck up behind me as I was typing this. Ack!

Penny pinching

In Entertainment, Humor, Television, The Office, Work on April 7, 2009 at 7:25 am

How much does it cost to run that camera you have there?

How much does it cost to run that camera you have there?

After our company announced we were all going to have to watch our office budgets and propose cost-saving strategies, Angela sent out this e-mail:

 You’ve heard the saying that every penny counts…and it does!  Here’s a few things that the Scranton office is doing.

 1.  Bring in your own mug AND your own STIRRING IMPLEMENT.  We’re going to eliminate the purchase of the plastic cups and the stir sticks. Annual savings: $140!

2.  TURN OFF THE LIGHTS when not in use! 

3.  We’ve eliminated the afternoon mail pick-up service. Annual savings: $1,500. 

4.  THINK BEFORE YOU COPY OR PRINT.  If it’s not necessary to print or copy, don’t waste the paper!  USE THE FLIP SIDE OF USED PAPER.  RECYCLE.  Annual savings by cutting white paper costs by 25%: $953.

5.  SUPPLIES:  “Uncommon items” wanted should be carefully considered before ordering.  (You may be asked to reconsider your item for a lesser cost one.)  Potential savings:  $500-$600.

6.  COFFEE & TEA:  Drink what you pour. And don’t make a fresh pot at 3:30 in the PM unless you’re going to drink it all. 

Angela

 “Annual savings $140? What is this proving?” Jim asked.

“Heck just get rid of the coffee all together,” Creed chimed in. “Who needs it?”

“I’m surprised she didn’t suggest getting rid of the air conditioning,” Karen said, quickly looking over her shoulder to make sure Angela hadn’t heard that idea.

 And a few hours later, we got an e-mail from corporate saying the company would be undergoing layoffs this week and that those of us left standing would be getting 9 percent pay cuts.

 “Now wait a second,” I said peeking over my desk after we got the e-mail, making sure Angela wasn’t around. “WE don’t have to take the pay cut do we? I mean, didn’t corporate hear we’re using our own spoons to stir our coffee now?”

Do you work at The Office?

In Entertainment, Humor, Television, The Office, Work on October 28, 2008 at 1:58 am

I found another Angela! (Or rather another Angela found me).

Check it out here.

And send her your sympathies!

Anyone else have some stories to share with the class this week?

Also … I need Halloween costume ideas for our party at Dunder Mifflin on Friday. GO!

Insult to injury

In Entertainment, Humor, Television, The Office, Work on October 23, 2008 at 3:23 pm
You can't put a price tag on pictures like this.

You can't put a price tag on pictures like this.

So I’m sitting at my desk pondering whether I should go to the bathroom or not. Andy has been particularly chatty lately and he likes to latch on to me on my way to the bathroom.

But every time I have a conversation with Andy, he insults me. Usually it’s unintentionally — if you can call not taking into account how others might feel “unintentional.”

First it was my wedding. He was talking about the budget for his wedding with Angela and how expensive the photographer was going to be. I told him about my own wedding and how we used a student from the University of Scranton’s photography program. The guy had an amazing portfolio, worked for cheap, let us have rights to the images so we could make as many copies as we wanted and gave us lovely pictures.

“I wouldn’t trust something as important as my wedding photos to an amateur,” Andy scoffed.

Yes, clearly I thought my wedding photos were worthless and hired the first bum I could find to handle them.

I left him alone to his whining over wedding costs.

Since that conversation, Andy booked a pricey photographer. But he also has started purchasing some photography equipment and has been peddling his wedding photography services to other friends who are getting married.

Apparently his friends should trust an amateur…as long as that amateur is him.

Next up … Andy makes fun of people with financial problems. Like the Beeslys.

Human Resources

In Entertainment, Humor, Television, The Office, Work on September 15, 2008 at 2:18 am

So at my office, we don’t have an on-site human resources employee. We have to contact our assigned rep at the corporate offices.

So I’ve been leaving messages and e-mails for Toby for a couple months and wondering why I wasn’t hearing anything back from him.

I asked Angela if she happened to know what was going on.

“Oh, yeah, Toby left the company and they haven’t replaced him yet. And no one bothered to tell us.”

She explained she only found out by accident … though I noted to myself she didn’t bother sharing this information once she obtained it. She said I’d need to contact the head of HR to see what to do.

So I started spreading this news to others in the office.

I approached Michael who was talking at Stanley’s desk.

“Hey guys. I just found out Toby left the company and no one told us.”

Michael laughed and grinned a bit.

“What?” Stanley asked.

“Yeah,” I continued, “I had been sending him e-mails for a couple months and never heard back from him and just found out it was because he quit.”

“Well it’s funny you didn’t get one of those response things to your e-mails,” Michael said.

“Yeah,” I agreed, knowing he meant an automatic reply one can set up on their e-mail account.

Michael felt he needed to explain. “You know, like the one we set up for you …”

“Yup I know what you mean, Michael.” I interjected.

“…when you changed e-mails after you got married.”

“Yup. Exactly.” I said.

“… Or, you know, like if someone goes on vacation and they want to…”

“Michael! I know what you mean!” I said a little too forcefully.

“Well, yeah, I’m just surprised you didn’t get one of those,” Michael said, a little bruised.

Why do I find it so hard to talk to this guy?

Guest blog: Angela and the … Oh my God!

In Entertainment, Guest blog, Humor, Television, The Office, Work on July 17, 2008 at 5:11 pm
LaLaLa. I cant hear you defile the Lord.

LaLaLa. I can't hear you defile the Lord.

Kelly has landed on my last nerve.

Being a customer service rep, she has a lot of down time in between calls from grumpy clients.

When she’s not slinking around the office being a gossip monger, she’s usually reading magazines at her desk. And using the good Lord’s name in vain.

“Oh my God. OH my GOD. ohmygodohmygodohmygod.”

All day that’s all I here from her over there. Every time she hits a new headline or a fact that blows her little mind, she comments out loud using different variations of “Oh my God.” The emphasis will change depending on the intensity of the story.

When she makes God into two syllables (GAW-DUH), you know she’s really hit upon some shocking news. Like Brad and Angelina broke up — and then were abducted by aliens who blew them into space with a slingshot.

At first people would turn and stare at her during her unholy exclamations. But she wouldn’t say anything unless someone asked her what she was reading. I never cared, but other people would condone her careless heathen outbursts and ask for details.

Soon though people learned to just ignore her.

But she couldn’t have that.

“Oh MY God!” Kelly exclaimed.

No one looked up. Everyone kept typing.

“OH my GOD!” she said again.

A phone rang and Oscar answered it.

“Isn’t anyone going to ask me what I’m reading?!” Kelly demanded.

Everyone looked up and stared unsure what to do. Karen jumped in and rescued us from the awkward moment by asking Kelly to tell her about it. Kelly was totally pleased having any audience in front of her … even a reluctant one.

I quietly asked God to smite her.

Guest blog: Angela vs. Dunder Mifflin Infinity

In Entertainment, Guest blog, Humor, Television, The Office, Work on June 5, 2008 at 2:39 am

Angela and Andy

Ryan just launched his new Dunder Mifflin Infinity Web site. I wish someone had run it by the finance department. It’s creating errors in the billing and order placements, and then the sales people are coming to me when their clients are getting billed improperly.

I hate being blamed for others’ incompetencies.

Andy sent me an e-mail with one such issue. He said a client who ordered 100 boxes of paper got billed for 500. I told him the Web site was causing a monetary nightmare and a trained monkey could have done a better job putting it together.

It’s a sin to lie, after all.

The issue was quickly resolved after the client threatened to pull their whole paper order. But this was after many ridiculous e-mails between Andy, myself, Ryan and the customer.

I was compiling my detailed complaint to send to corporate about Ryan’s site and the fiasco it caused when Michael called me into his office.

He just got a call from Ryan with a complaint about me. About me!?!

Apparently Andy accidentally attached my e-mail to a message he sent the client … the one about the trained monkey.

I pointed out that it wasn’t my fault that Andy forwarded the e-mail and it certainly wasn’t my fault that the Web site was such an abomination.

Michael told me I needed a more positive attitude.

The debate quickly spiraled to me vs. Ryan. If I filed my complaint against Ryan, Michael was going to file a complaint against me.

And while I offered an effective and orderly work environment, Ryan offered the possibility of friendship to Michael. Clearly my fight was lost.

So now instead of filing my complaint with corporate, I am being tasked with organizing a positive reinforcement, team building afternoon.

I think I’ll decorate with rainbows and butterflies.

Guest blog: Angela and the pest infestation

In Entertainment, Guest blog, Humor, Television, The Office, Work on May 22, 2008 at 3:27 am

Hey guys. Today I am pleased to announce that we have a guest blogger: Angela!
*applause*
OK, well actually Angela found out about my blog and said she’d report me to corporate … unless I let her write some entries. So please welcome her to the page … so I don’t lose my job.

(In reality, “Angela” and I are good friends. This is a story from a “Dunder Mifflin” satellite office)

 

Angela filing complaint

Lately our office has had a bit of a pest problem. No, not Dwight. I’m talking about cockroaches. It’s vile. Sometimes if you go into the break room, you’ll see the nasty things eating away at the Funyuns. I don’t care, I hate Funyuns, and personally I think that there are a few people in the office that could go without them. Still, it’s disgusting.

I insisted Michael do something about the infestation. I overheard him calling Ryan about it, but it didn’t sound like it went so well (Michael pretended to yell at Ryan, but I know the call had long ended at that point). Because the financial side of things hasn’t been so spectacular here at Dunder Mifflin, I guess corporate is trying to cut back on budgets. Great. If Sprinkles was still around, maybe Michael could hire her.

So what does Michael do? He wants me to plan a party. A morale-boosting/bug-killing party.

Look. My morale is boosted already:

Look at my high morale

I’m on the party planning committee. That means that I plan parties. Not bug killing contests.
When I refused to plan a “Dunder Mifflin Scranton bug stomp-off,” Michael had the audacity to suggest we connect the sales bonuses with the number of cockroaches killed. I tried to put a hault to this plan as well, but Dwight already has his stapler pointed at the ground like it’s some kind of gun, ready to claim the title of top cockroach killer.

For all I know, Dwight and Michael brought the stupid things in just to drive the rest of us insane.

I wonder if Staples is hiring.

Slap My Bee

In Entertainment, Humor, Television, Work on May 13, 2008 at 4:33 pm

Pam reception

Several years ago I had a real name plate at my desk that said “Pam Beesly.” It was one of those that you could lift the cover and rearrange the letters so you could customize it for new employees.
But the temptation was too much for Michael. Each day I would come in and my letters would be mixed up … often spelling something inappropriate.
I began to ignore the juvenile prank to the point that one morning I forgot to correct the sign. Angela approached my desk later that day and saw my name jumble, which now read “My Bals Pee.” She told me I “couldn’t handle the responsibility of a name plate” and took it from my desk. Later that week I received the generic “Reception” plate … with nonmovable letters.
I recently asked Angela if I could have my name plate back and promised I would seal it shut and guard it from Michael. She agreed on a probationary period.

Angela
The first day was fine. I could hear Michael snickering to himself in his office for about half the day, but this wasn’t all that unusual.
The next day I came in to find this sign taped to my desk:

Pam Beesly
Map Bee sly
Balmy Pees
Blames Yep
Melba Yeps
Palmy Bees
Peas Melby
Please B My
Slam Beepy
Lap My Bees
Slap My Bee
See My Blap
Easy PB elm
B May Sleep
Spy Be Meal
Sly Bam Pee
Lambs Peely
Lamp B Eyes
Sample Bye
Ample Byes
Yes Be Palm
Sleepy Bam
Pam Be Yels
Yam Spel Be
Yam Bleeps
Yams Bleep

I tore it down before Angela saw.