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Posts Tagged ‘Stanley Hudson’

Chirp! (part 2)

In Entertainment, Humor, Television, The Office, Work on April 23, 2009 at 8:00 am
The annoyatron

Michael (not so) stealthily places an annoyatron under Stanley's desk.

All week Michael and Andy were plotting how they were going to stick the annoyatron (thanks Chris!) to Stanley’s desk.

“What do you think he’ll do?” Michael asked excitedly.

“He’s going to be so mad,” Andy said.

They plotted what Andy would say if Stanley asked him what the noise was (he was going to pretend he couldn’t hear it), and imagined the triumph they would feel upon “getting” Stanley.

Meanwhile, back in reality, Karen had already told Stanley what had happened to her and that Michael was planning to do the same to him.

So when the random chirping began on April Fool’s Day, Stanley said nothing.

And neither did Michael or Andy — which of course was sign number one of their guilt. If they weren’t the source of an annoying noise, they would have been the first ones poking around investigating it.

When I returned from lunch, Andy and Michael were still gone on break … and so was the noise.

“So where is it?” I asked Stanley while searching around his desk area.

“Where is what,” he said dryly.

“The beeping thing,” I said.

“What beeping thing?” There was a tiny grin on his face.

“You found it!” I said.

“I really don’t know what you’re talking about. But whatever it is, it’s gone now.”

Grinning I returned to my desk.

stanley Hudson

The next day Michael came up to Stanley’s desk.

“So where is it?”

“Where is what,” Stanley said.

“The beeper,” Michael said.

“Oh that was yours?” Stanley asked innocently.

“Yeah I left a note on it.”

“Oh well I stepped on it,” Stanley said.

“Why’d you do that?”

“To get it to stop beeping.”

“But I wanted to use it on someone else!”

“Well you should have thought of that before you put it over here.”

Michael had a nervous smile on his face as he went back to his office.

Meanwhile Stanley stuck the annoyatron to a sheet of paper that said RIP and hung it at his desk. Michael returned about an hour later.

“No really what did you do with it,” he asked, convincing himself Stanley was playing a practical joke on him.

“It’s right there,” Stanley said pointing to the sign.

“Rest in Peace, hahaha,” Michael said as he took the toy back to his office.

He played with the gadget for a while, a sickly beeping coming from his office every now and then.

Michael returned to Stanley’s desk.

“What did you do to this thing!”

“I told you, I stomped on it. With my boot.”

“I didn’t think you were serious! This cost me $10! I was going to use it on someone else!”

“I TOLD you. You shouldn’t put something on my desk if you want ot get it back.”

This interaction continued throughout the day, culminating in Michael refusing to turn in some of Stanley’s paperwork to corporate.

“Nope, don’t have time. Already sent everyone else’s. You’ll have to do it yourself,” he said in a hurried panicky voice. I haven’t seen such a retaliatory spectacle since little Margret broke Timmy’s crayons in second grade.

Stanley shrugged. “Fine I’ll send it myself.”

Good ol’ Stanley. Always playing it cool and never giving Michael an ounce of satisfaction.

Chirp!

In Entertainment, Humor, Television, The Office, Work on April 14, 2009 at 7:26 am

Karen Filipelli from The Office

“Do you hear that beeping sound?” Karen asked as she came over to the area where Jim and I sit.

We shook our heads.

“It almost sounds like a cricket or something, but it’s too cold for crickets, isn’t it?” She asked, clearly unnerved by whatever was causing the noise.

“Not sure, ” I said. “Sometimes my computer makes funny beeping noises. Maybe it’s your computer or someone who sits nearby.”

“Maaaaybe,” Karen said unconvinced and looking around for the source of the noise.

“Or maybe the batteries are dying in something, like the smoke detector,” I suggested.

“Yeah those DO make a chirping noise, don’t they,” she said and went on the hunt again.

At the end of the work day, Andy approached her desk.

“So you had some weird beeping over here today, huh?” he said.

“Yeeeeah,” Karen said suspiciously.

“It was this,” he said revealing a little metal box.

“You were causing the beeping noise?”

“Yeah when you stick this thing to metal, the magnetism activates this random little beep every once in a while. SO I stuck it to your desk and took it down during lunch time. I guess I’m lucky I caught you on a good day, huh?”

“Yeah,” Karen said with a little edge. “Really lucky.”

Andy also revealed that Michael planned to get one of the devices to use on Stanley on April Fool’s Day. As if Stanley hadn’t been witness to everything that happened to Karen and would be fooled by the same prank.

Yeah, that didn’t turn out so well for Michael.

(To be continued)

So that’s what it takes to get away from Michael

In Entertainment, Humor, Television, The Office, Work on March 20, 2009 at 9:00 am
michael_talks_to_stanley

Stanley went to lunch last week with one of his clients who is being laid off, meaning he’ll have to work with someone else from that company from now on. He’s been a purchaser with us for a long time and has built a great relationship with Stanley.

Michael has tried to build an equally great relationship with this client, let’s call him Peter, but with slightly lesser results. He has called Peter with special promotions, to request feedback, etc.

But come Christmas, the card that comes from Peter’s company is always sent to Stanley. When talking on the phone, Peter will ask about Stanley’s family and personal life. With Michael, he stays business only. Which is the kind of thing that slowly drives Michael insane.

So when Stanley met with Peter for a goodbye lunch, he made sure to hide it from Michael until it was over or else he knew Michael would try to weasel his way in.

When Michael found out about it later, he grilled Stanley for all the details. Where did they eat? What did he say? Was he angry? It was clear he was totally distraught he could not be there.

So today, on Peter’s second to last day, Michael calls him to wish him luck in his new ventures.

And keeps him on the phone for 45 minutes.

Talking about himself.

He talked about Jan and her sister and his church and his church choir and his brother and and and…

Fun with eavesdropping.

About 25 minutes in, Jim turns to me and holds up a sign that says “But enough about me…”

Gee I wonder why Peter and Michael were never close.

Number 3

In Entertainment, Humor, Television, The Office, Work on September 24, 2008 at 6:58 am
Hmm what about Jim? No, too cool. How about Creed? Nah he'd lead a rebellion.

Hmm what about Jim? No, too cool. How about Creed? Nah he'd lead a rebellion.

An over heard conversation from Michael’s office.

Dwight: You know Michael, I was thinking with me being out of town yesterday and you taking some time off soon, we need to decide who is our number 3 if we’re ever gone at the same time.
Michael: Our what?
Dwight: Who will be in charge is something happens while both of us are out of the office?!

They dropped into hushed whispers so I missed the rest of this gem of a conversation. But I quickly relayed what I had heard to Jim and Stanley.
“Oh no! What would we do?!” I asked.
We all agreed. Nothing would change if they both missed a day except that the chance of something going wrong would decrease exponentially and we’d get out of work on time. Oh the horror.

Also: THE OFFICE SEASON FIVE STARTS TOMORROW!!!!! I’M SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!

Call me … actually, don’t

In Entertainment, Humor, Television, The Office, Work on September 17, 2008 at 2:59 am

Kelly asked Michael and Stanley for their cell phone numbers. They are both leaving for a paper convention in a couple weeks and she wanted to be able to get in touch with them if there were any problems.

“Isn’t it cool how women want our cell phone numbers?” Michael says to Stanley while Kelly is waiting for him to finish writing down his number.

Stanley glared at him.

“Well I’m a single guy, so it’s cool for me,” Michael said.

Kelly laughed nervously.

Human Resources

In Entertainment, Humor, Television, The Office, Work on September 15, 2008 at 2:18 am

So at my office, we don’t have an on-site human resources employee. We have to contact our assigned rep at the corporate offices.

So I’ve been leaving messages and e-mails for Toby for a couple months and wondering why I wasn’t hearing anything back from him.

I asked Angela if she happened to know what was going on.

“Oh, yeah, Toby left the company and they haven’t replaced him yet. And no one bothered to tell us.”

She explained she only found out by accident … though I noted to myself she didn’t bother sharing this information once she obtained it. She said I’d need to contact the head of HR to see what to do.

So I started spreading this news to others in the office.

I approached Michael who was talking at Stanley’s desk.

“Hey guys. I just found out Toby left the company and no one told us.”

Michael laughed and grinned a bit.

“What?” Stanley asked.

“Yeah,” I continued, “I had been sending him e-mails for a couple months and never heard back from him and just found out it was because he quit.”

“Well it’s funny you didn’t get one of those response things to your e-mails,” Michael said.

“Yeah,” I agreed, knowing he meant an automatic reply one can set up on their e-mail account.

Michael felt he needed to explain. “You know, like the one we set up for you …”

“Yup I know what you mean, Michael.” I interjected.

“…when you changed e-mails after you got married.”

“Yup. Exactly.” I said.

“… Or, you know, like if someone goes on vacation and they want to…”

“Michael! I know what you mean!” I said a little too forcefully.

“Well, yeah, I’m just surprised you didn’t get one of those,” Michael said, a little bruised.

Why do I find it so hard to talk to this guy?