Pam

The HR Department

So like the Dunder Mifflin represented in the television show The Office, our HR representative recently quit.

Unlike the show, no one bothered to tell any of us, nor have they replaced them in a speedy manner.

So if you you would like to file a report (or just talk) about your own real-life “The Office” scenarios, I guess we have to stick it in the “official file at corporate” ourselves.

Thankfully, Toby left a cardboard box under his desk.

Anyway, feel free to file your grievances here. More updates as this HR story unfolds.

  1. Toby-
    No grievances here. Just wanted to give props to Pam for producing such a hilarious blog=] Very in keeping with the sitcom. Though, it is sad that the blog is not fictional =/ Bummer, Pam.

    I would say that my office is a lot like Dundler Mifflin, but most of the time my coworkers don’t even speak English. As a result, I have no idea what they are saying and am therefore left to create my own improv-dialogue. Ha ha.

  2. That could be a fun sketch … ala the Saturday Night Live Japanese Office sketch. Thanks for reading!

  3. Toby –
    Could you do something about Michael Scott’s incessant need to micromanage the whole staff? Seriously, I couldn’t send my sales orders to corporate until he first went over them (who placed them, how much, etc.). And he doesn’t get to them without first making some personal calls and going down to the warehouse to chat with the guys down there. Sheesh. Whenever I’m typing, he’s always got to pace back and forth behind me and see what’s on my monitor.
    And can you also do something about Dwight exercising his imaginary second-in-command crap? He will look over my sales orders for math errors and in some cases call my clients without my knowledge to see what they need. Never mind that he’s behind on his sales calls for the month.

    Thanks,
    Karen

  4. Oh wow — that IS a totally Dwight thing to do isn’t it?!

  5. Toby –
    Apparently Michael thinks that if he’s got a busy week coming up, then nobody in the office should take vacation. I asked for a week off when Michael has to go to a conference. So he reluctantly gave me the week off, but not without a lot of shoveling guilt at me at how we’re going to be understaffed during that week. Mind you, I don’t have to be at that conference, and everyone else already has taken vacation over the summer. There will be staff in the office that week. It’s like, whenever I ask for vacation, Michael will give me the “yes, but….”
    Karen

  6. Toby,
    Now that I have the workstation closest to Michael’s office, I’m appalled at some of the things I hear in there! Like today, Michael and Dwight had a meeting to basically shoot the breeze and they start talking about movies. Michael mentions how one of his favorites is Showgirls and is recommending it to Dwight with the caveat that there is some nudity. And it’s loud enough for most in the office to hear! Dwight then shuts the door, presumably to discuss the more sultry details.
    And if that wasn’t offensive enough, Michael was on the phone with one of his buddies, again to waste precious time. He actually asked his friend what he’s been doing wrong lately that God’s been sending all kinds of crap his way. I was really offended at this sacriligious comment. It’s like, why can’t he take personal calls on his cell phone and just politely walk out down the stairwell so no one will hear his crude remarks?
    Karen

  7. *sigh* I wish we really could report this to Toby. But too bad Toby quit months ago and NO ONE BOTHERED TO TELL US, Karen.
    But I’ll be writing about that next week.

  8. Pam,
    Here’s another thing to file away for Toby’s replacement.

    So Kevin has become a photograhpy hobbyist in the past year, and he wants everyone in the office to know about it. When he got a raise last year, he bragged about the new SLR digital that he got, supposedly for birdwatching shots (though I’ve never seen any of his bird photos). He even talked about making some extra money shooting models for agencies (don’t ask me if these are babes in bikinis; I don’t even want to know).

    For the past three weeks, he’s interrupted me, Angela, Jim and a few others to talk about how he wants to shoot weddings on the side, but his camera is too noisy for the job. So he went and bought another thousand dollar camera and is trying to pawn his old one off of Angela, Phyllis and now even the IT guy came in briefly today.

    In between eating doughnuts this morning, he walked over to each of us to show his brand new camera and tell us how he still needs to buy a zoom lens. He told me about all the features…meanwhile, Angela’s really annoyed with how his financial reports are lying undone on his desk. And she makes sure I hear about it–as if I have any control over Kevin.

    I honestly never cared this much about a camera. sigh.
    Karen

  9. Oh man don’t even get me started on Kevin. He did the same thing to me as I was trying to pass his desk to go to the bathroom.
    Also, he made fun of me when I told him I hired a young freelancer to do my wedding shots at a great price. Said the photos for his wedding were way too important to trust to someone like that.
    What? So you don’t consider someone of your caliber good enough to shoot your own wedding, but it’s OK to con other people into hiring you?

  10. Pam,
    If you ask me, Kevin’s a dope about this whole wedding photo business. I’ll bet you $10 that after the first wedding he tries to shoot, he’ll either give up or complain about how hard it was. I give him three weddings tops for his aspiring photo business.

    Karen

  11. Ok, so I have a good one here. On the same day that Dunder Mifflin announces wage freezes for next year since paper sales really dropped, Michael had a great idea to improve morale. He started complaining about how hard he worked this year, staying till 8:00 on some evenings, taking work home and even coming in on select weekends. And guess what? He noticed he was the only one working that schedule. Well, instead of stopping to think why he can’t get most of his work done in the 8-5 window, he suggested that the rest of us ought to work overtime as well, because we are the reason for his overtime!
    Yes, we don’t get sales reports in to him at a decent hour early in the week so he can read them prior to 5:00. We aren’t busting our butts hard enough to close sales. Never mind the fact more people are going paperless to go green and cut costs. Never mind that sales reports will sit unread for most of the day on his desk because he has important meetings. And never mind that Michael will spend a good chunk of his mornings chatting all over the office and the warehouse. I suppose his aversion to delegating tasks because he doesn’t trust people who have worked for him for over 10 years doesn’t have anything to do with his overtime either.
    All I can say is that with no pay raise coming next year (and I do not make executive-level pay like Michael does), I’m not staying one minute over 5 unless I’m truly behind in my work.
    Karen

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