Really?!

The scene: Pam is working fervently at her desk. Her headphones are on. Her focus is unwavering. She’s in a groove, and her work is flowing smoothly.

Enter stage left: Michael Scott.

Pam sees him out of the corner of her eye. He fumbles. Turns. Stares at a wall. Turns again.

Pam’s eye twitches. What is he doing?

He shuffles, turns and looks directly at Pam and says something.

Pam halts her work and takes off her headphones.

“What?” she asks.

“What did I come out here for?” Michael asks.

Pam jams her headphone back into her ears so hard she hurts herself and as snaps “I don’t know!”

Her groove is ruined. She sits fuming at her desk for the next hour as she contemplates the moronic events that just took place.

[End scene]

Wait … Who? What?!

And now, transcription of a phone call with Michael Scott.

“This is Michael Scott.

Who IS this?!

Oh.

He’s not here right now.

Yup.”

*Click*

Please share with me a scenario — any scenario — where that conversation made sense in an office environment.

Morale by the slice

So, if you’ve read anything I’ve written on Twitter or on this blog you know one thing: morale at my office sucks.

David Wallace had a meeting with Michael about how to lift our spirits in times of massive pay cuts and being loaded with more work.

Their big solution?

Pizza.

Michael used to order pizza for us all the time. But it’s been more than a year since he treated us, even though our office is very small. Extras like that were cut from the budget, and you know, Michael couldn’t possibly spare a dime of his six-figure salary.

But David gave the OK for Michael to charge the company for a whopping three pizzas. And hooray everything is wonderful now!!! Yay! I can shut down this blog for good!

…

Right.

Besides not ordering enough, causing everyone to fight over the kinds they wanted, we were reminded roughly 15 times that the reason we were getting this pizza is because David wanted to boost morale.

Kinda makes you all warm and fuzzy inside, doesn’t it?