Insert nervous laughter

So I was talking to Creed about social media sites like MySpace and Facebook. Creed is baffled by what the purpose of such sites are and how to begin even setting one up.

Michael stepped in as we moved on to talk about blogs.

“There you go Pam, you should have a blog on Dunder Mifflin Infinity. You could write about paper,” he said.

“Heh. I could probably do that.” 

“Actually Pam already has a blog,” Michael said to Creed. “Probably one complaining about this place.”

…

…

…

Actually I didn’t pause. That’s just what it felt like in my brain. What I said was:

“Actually it’s Creed’s blog. But he doesn’t know how to use it so he has to print out what he wants it to say and I have to re-type it in for him.”

That got a big chuckle from Michael. “I bet he has to handwrite it,” Michael chimed in giving fake nudges to Creed, who honestly didn’t mind being picked on in this conversation.

And Michael trotted off.

And I let out a huge sigh of relief.

P.S. Yay for having TWO Office episodes last night! How great was that! Liked Parks And Rec. Will be interested to see how it evolves and really makes the format its own.

Penny pinching

How much does it cost to run that camera you have there?

After our company announced we were all going to have to watch our office budgets and propose cost-saving strategies, Angela sent out this e-mail:

 You’ve heard the saying that every penny counts…and it does!  Here’s a few things that the Scranton office is doing.

 1.  Bring in your own mug AND your own STIRRING IMPLEMENT.  We’re going to eliminate the purchase of the plastic cups and the stir sticks. Annual savings: $140!

2.  TURN OFF THE LIGHTS when not in use! 

3.  We’ve eliminated the afternoon mail pick-up service. Annual savings: $1,500. 

4.  THINK BEFORE YOU COPY OR PRINT.  If it’s not necessary to print or copy, don’t waste the paper!  USE THE FLIP SIDE OF USED PAPER.  RECYCLE.  Annual savings by cutting white paper costs by 25%: $953.

5.  SUPPLIES:  “Uncommon items” wanted should be carefully considered before ordering.  (You may be asked to reconsider your item for a lesser cost one.)  Potential savings:  $500-$600.

6.  COFFEE & TEA:  Drink what you pour. And don’t make a fresh pot at 3:30 in the PM unless you’re going to drink it all. 

Angela

…

 “Annual savings $140? What is this proving?” Jim asked.

“Heck just get rid of the coffee all together,” Creed chimed in. “Who needs it?”

“I’m surprised she didn’t suggest getting rid of the air conditioning,” Karen said, quickly looking over her shoulder to make sure Angela hadn’t heard that idea.

 And a few hours later, we got an e-mail from corporate saying the company would be undergoing layoffs this week and that those of us left standing would be getting 9 percent pay cuts.

 “Now wait a second,” I said peeking over my desk after we got the e-mail, making sure Angela wasn’t around. “WE don’t have to take the pay cut do we? I mean, didn’t corporate hear we’re using our own spoons to stir our coffee now?”

Say my name

Achoo!

The office has been ridiculously quiet the last couple weeks. Everyone seems to be in a seasonal funk with the cold weather that has descended on Scranton. So every noise stands out.

Michael was in his office listening to something with his headphones on. Creed blew his nose, making an awful screeching sound.

Michael took off his headphones and called out to the rest of us. “Did someone just call my name?”

I just kept my head down and tried not to snicker.

The election is over: it is safe to return to your desks

So I a while ago I decided because of how crazy Michael had been acting over the election that I would take Nov. 5 off from work. This way I could a) stay up late and watch results even if it took all night (because I’m a big dork) and b) wouldn’t be subjected to either Michael’s gloating or pouting the day after.

And boy am I glad I did.

Apparently Michael was so bad, Creed called off work Thursday because he couldn’t put up with it. Creed cheers for the opposite political party as Michael, a fact which for the most part Creed keeps to himself. And while Creed doesn’t rub it in if his candidate wins, Michael most certainly does.

And it got ugly.

I’m hearing most of this second-hand from Jim, but suffice it to say it must have been bad for Creed to call off work over it.

When I came in Thursday, Michael wanted soooo badly for me to be his personal gossip girl. Everytime he started whining to me about Creed, I would deflect him with a work-related question until he finally went away.

Work = Michael’s Kryptonite.

Friendly joke

Michael playing it safe on his bike.

Yesterday, Michael rode his bike to work, which he likes to park right in front of the printer, making it difficult on all of us all day long.

He left early and had someone drive him to pick up his motorcycle, leaving his bike in our print station.

“We should hide his bike,” I said to Jim.

Creed who was standing nearby suggested the Vance Refrigeration offices. We also came up with the storage area at the end of the floor and the women’s restroom.

I got up to move the bike and stopped.

“Jim, would doing this open up a level of camaraderie with Michael that I really don’t want to open?”

“It certainly would,” he said.

He would see this as a sign of being “one of us,” Jim said. It wasn’t like Dwight who would just get angry over a joke. We imagined the excitement Michael would get over being included … and the inappropriate and probably uncomfortable retaliation he would plan against me.

I sat back down and let the bike remain.