I am SO progressive!
Michael likes to think of himself as the defender of the little man. He is pro-union and likes to identify himself with minority causes.
For example Proposition 8 in California. Even though he doesn’t live in California, he very much wanted to see gay marriage remain legal in the state.
“Well I got an e-mail from Jan with some bad news,” he said to me.
“Mmmhmmm,” I said.
“Yeah you know how we only like to go to the Cinemark movie theater out in Moosic?” he asked.
Yes, unfortunately I knew all too well Jan and Michael’s movie theater preferences as well as which snacks topped their lists.
“Well Jan just told me that the CEO of Cinemark gave $10,000 to support the amendment banning gay marriage, so now we’re going to have to boycott the theater and I already sent them a note telling them so. It’ll be interesting to see if I hear back.”
“I doubt you will Michael,” I said vaguely, wondering when on earth I ever gave Michael even a hint on what my views on gay marriage were and realizing he probably doesn’t care either way so long as I listen to the story.
“Yeah it’ll be rough now. I’m sure going to miss the nice big seats and the good popcorn and the special concessions and all the movies they had there,” he pouted.
(Yeah you’re a real martyr for the gay cause, Michael.)
“Well I’m guessing what you’re giving up probably isn’t as much as what the gay couples in California are losing,” I said.
Michael recoiled. “Well no. I just really like that theater.”
Yeah. Uh-huh. Sigh. How was he able to turn the issue of gay marriage in California into a story about himself? Michael wants people to both admire him for being so progressive and pity him for what he sacrifices. It’s either worth it or it’s not Michael. It can’t be both.
Do you have any office martyrs who like to pat themselves on the back?
I work at The Office 